There are times when I just want to give up. I just feel drained.
I get tired of all the school. (Where is summer?) I forget the point of why I’m doing this. I lose focus. Sometimes I have meltdowns over questions that I can’t find the answer to.
I get frustrated at my little siblings who seem to cry and fuss and whine all day long. Sometimes I feel like I’m really truly going to go insane.
I’m exhausted by thinking of all the mounting responsibilities that I’m committed to, especially especially for this November. (Some are of my own violation.) My mind just won’t stop running over all the things I need to do before this November and once it starts.
Sometimes after a long day of school or something similar I just go collapse on my bed and read a book, or if I’m more exhausted, I just sit and soak up some tv. And I could seriously care less about what ever else needs to be done.
In those moments, I feel like a failure. I feel like I should be doing something or other, but I don’t have the heart to do it. I’m not motivated enough. I give up for at least those few nighttime hours before I go to bed. Then I wake up and start the process all over again.
I’ve been questioning myself. Doubting myself.
Doubting yourself, questioning yourself, isn’t really bad. In fact, it can be very good. It can lead you to the truth. It can teach you caution. We’re human beings. We make mistakes.
But when we fall. When we breakdown. When we feel like a failures. We can’t doubt so much that we doubt God’s love for us.
1 John 4:16
We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.
We can’t doubt that God has plans for each and everyone of us. We can’t doubt that His plans will work according to His will.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
That we are in His hands no matter what we’re going through. That He will be with us all the way. That He is right by our side.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.We can’t doubt the grace that God sheds on us. The grace that cleanses us. That wipes our slates clean. That gives us new life.
No, when we feel like a failures, we have to remember that God is in control. We have to remember that our lives our His. And that we made in His image. That His love for us is strong. And it will never fade away.
Even if we doubt and question everything around us, we can still trust in God. For He is the only one in whom we can fully rely on no matter what we’re going through.