Knowing God

knowinggodLife’s been a mix of craziness and excitement and new things, while at the same time there are just days that I’m struggling to find joy and hope in life. Where I’m struggling to find meaning and satisfaction in life. There are so many choices to make, decisions that will affect my life forever…and I just feel at a loss. I don’t know what to do sometimes. I feel like sometimes I’m just getting nowhere.

Well, maybe it’s because what I need to is not anywhere near what I’m looking at. What I’m looking for, I’m looking for in all of the wrong places. Maybe I need to go back to the start. Maybe I need to go back to the beginning, at the root of it all.

I struggle with my “spiritual journey”. I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere with it. That I’ve been stuck in the same spot for years. That I’m never learning anything about new about God. That I’m not having any new revelations. That I’m not having any of those pivotal moments. That I’m just stuck in the same old, same old.

What one of my friends pointed to me, which I am seeing as more and more true, is that knowing about God is not the same as knowing God. There’s a difference. And I think that is one problem that I’ve had. I’ve confused knowing about God with knowing God. In my mind, I know a lot about God. I can tell you many of the Bible stories. I can tell you all about God’s nature, but can I say that I actually know Him? I think that I can, but I also think that I’m just beginning to see how little I know God.

Knowing about God is good, don’t get me wrong. You have to know about God before you can begin to know God. For how can you have a relationship with God, if you only know about Him? Two of the most obvious ways that we can begin to know Him is by reading His Word, the Bible and talking to Him, praying. Have I been reading His Word? Not really. Have I been really, truly, fully conversing with Him? Not as much as I should.

Knowing God takes effort. If we can’t put forth that effort, then what does that really say about ourselves? That we don’t care? That we can’t give Him our precious time?

Matthew 11:28-30

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

God did not say that we’d have no duties, that we’d be living the dream. But He also didn’t say that the duties we would be given would be impossible. No, with God, it’s possible. If we truly want to, we can put forth that effort to know God. And by knowing Him, we can bring ourselves closer to Him, to where we truly need to be.

-G. Paige

Thoughts on this Independence Day

thoughtsonthisindependencedayOn July 4, 1776 the Declaration of Independence was signed. It has been many years since then (Two hundred and forty-one years ago to be exact.) and since that time our country has changed drastically. Our country is more than thirteen colonies separating themselves from Great Britain. Now, it is fifty states united under one Democratic Republican government. It is estimated that in 1776 our nation was comprised of a little over three million people. Now, it estimated to be over three hundred million people living in the United States. The innovations and technologies have far surpassed those of two centuries ago. We’ve discovered so much about this world…and have learned that there is so much more that we don’t know. We have explored this world, going farther than before, even into the depths of space.Read More »

God is Good Enough

godisgoodenoughIt’s been a long day. Not that I’ve actually done much today. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m almost, almost done with school. And I think it is because of that, that I am so unmotivated to do school. I mean, I could do it probably pretty quickly, since it is like two or three subjects. But because it is so little, I’m barely getting the minimal amount done.

Also, decisions decisions decisions. What kind of career do I want to have? Where do I want to go to college? What do I plan to do with the rest of my life? Questions questions questions all with little to no answers. I wish I could say that I have a plan, that I know what I’m going to do with my life.

But I don’t. I really don’t. I have plenty of ideas, plenty of aspirations, plenty of hobbies. But I haven’t made any decisions. I have one year of high school left. After that, I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know what my life will look like next year.

This worries me. I want to know where I’m going. I want to have a set goal so that I know what I’m working towards. I want to be able to see what I’m heading towards, but it feels like I’m driving through a fog.

I find myself trying to reach for something, anything that is better than where I am. I find myself believing that where I am is not good enough. I try for more this more that. I try to make myself better, in my own mind. In the end I give up and I go back to whatever I was doing originally, even if I feel a little guilty about it.

This happens over and over. I go from trying everything, putting on more and more work, to doing nothing and feeling guilty about it.

I find myself wanting more from this life. I either try to find it by doing more and more things. Or I do nothing at all. I give up. What’s the point, anyways? If, in the end, for all the work I’ve done, I’m not going to find it. I might as well do nothing at all. I go in and out of agreeing with this reasoning.

This has brought be closer and closer to the realization that I’ve relying too much on myself. I rely on myself to get more from this life. I try everything and nothing. I try and I don’t try.

This life is never going to be good enough for me. No, it is impossible for it to be good enough for me. It’s a fallen world, a sinful world. We were made for a better world than this. This world isn’t going to satisfy that want.

But God can.

God is good enough.

He can fulfill that want inside of us. He can give us that direction that we so desperately need in our lives. He can be everything that we need in our lives. And more. He is so much more than we could ever imagine. He cares about us, more than we’ll ever know.

We can’t rely on ourselves. We’ll fail. But we can rely on God, because He’ll never fail.

-G. Paige

Taking a Break from Writing can be a Good Thing

takingabreakfromwritingcanbeagoodthing

Today, I’m going to do a different kind of post. I wanted to write about something close to my heart: writing.  I don’t know if this will become a normal thing, but here it is!

As I’m sure that many of you know, I am a writer. I would’ve never imagined myself saying that a couple of years ago. I absolutely hating writing into my early teenage years. Wow. That makes me sound old. Early teenage years? I dreaded writing.

Now, it is one of my favorite things to spend time on. Though, to tell the truth, it isn’t that way all the time. Sometimes, honestly, a lot of the time, it feels like work. It feels like something that I literally want to pull my hair out over. But I still do it. I still keep coming back to it. I don’t give up on it. Even if I push it aside for awhile, eventually, it draws me back. It won’t let me go, because, in my heart, I still love it.

But there are those times where you hit a wall with your writing. Where you’ve lost all motivation to write or where you don’t know where to go with your story or any other of that endless list of problems.

At times like that, sometimes you just have to push yourself forward, to keep typing out those words. And hopefully, eventually, you’ll get past that wall. I do that a lot. No matter how bad it is, I push myself forward, one word at a time. I don’t let myself quit. Even if the words are terrible, I kept going. I knew that eventually I’d get past it and it would be fine. Later, I could edit all those terrible words.

Sometimes though, pushing yourself forward is not the best path to take. Sometimes, it’s better to take a step back away from whatever you’re working on and take a break. Yes, I’m saying it is good to take a break. Is that shocking? Coming from me, I have to say that it is. I’m one of those people who feels immensely guilty about taking breaks. I feel like I should always be doing something, even if it is something like reading a book or watching a tv show. To me, at least I’m doing something. So to take a break is a hard thing for me to do.

But here I am to tell you that it is a good thing to take breaks. We need breaks. Our bodies aren’t meant to go on and on and on and to never stop. There’s proof of that in the fact that God, after creating this universe, rested. He’s God. It’s clear that He didn’t need to rest. But He did. And I believe that was for our benefit.

So remember to take breaks. Taking a break could give you a new perspective on your writing, and in the end, help your writing be much better than if you just pushed through with it. Taking a break could also help you get inspired. Lately, I’ve been taking a “bit” of a break from writing. I’ve spent time doing other creative things like sketching and reading and journaling and even starting to write a fan fiction for fun. It has just been just so refreshing and inspiring. I know that once I get back to actually working on my novel it will be a bit easier than before when I was just trying to push myself to make that word count everyday.

If you need a break, take it. You won’t regret it. Trust me.

-G. Paige