Life’s been a mix of craziness and excitement and new things, while at the same time there are just days that I’m struggling to find joy and hope in life. Where I’m struggling to find meaning and satisfaction in life. There are so many choices to make, decisions that will affect my life forever…and I just feel at a loss. I don’t know what to do sometimes. I feel like sometimes I’m just getting nowhere.
Well, maybe it’s because what I need to is not anywhere near what I’m looking at. What I’m looking for, I’m looking for in all of the wrong places. Maybe I need to go back to the start. Maybe I need to go back to the beginning, at the root of it all.
I struggle with my “spiritual journey”. I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere with it. That I’ve been stuck in the same spot for years. That I’m never learning anything about new about God. That I’m not having any new revelations. That I’m not having any of those pivotal moments. That I’m just stuck in the same old, same old.
What one of my friends pointed to me, which I am seeing as more and more true, is that knowing about God is not the same as knowing God. There’s a difference. And I think that is one problem that I’ve had. I’ve confused knowing about God with knowing God. In my mind, I know a lot about God. I can tell you many of the Bible stories. I can tell you all about God’s nature, but can I say that I actually know Him? I think that I can, but I also think that I’m just beginning to see how little I know God.
Knowing about God is good, don’t get me wrong. You have to know about God before you can begin to know God. For how can you have a relationship with God, if you only know about Him? Two of the most obvious ways that we can begin to know Him is by reading His Word, the Bible and talking to Him, praying. Have I been reading His Word? Not really. Have I been really, truly, fully conversing with Him? Not as much as I should.
Knowing God takes effort. If we can’t put forth that effort, then what does that really say about ourselves? That we don’t care? That we can’t give Him our precious time?
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
God did not say that we’d have no duties, that we’d be living the dream. But He also didn’t say that the duties we would be given would be impossible. No, with God, it’s possible. If we truly want to, we can put forth that effort to know God. And by knowing Him, we can bring ourselves closer to Him, to where we truly need to be.